The Mythical Nice Guy's topics - tribe.net

What type of a woman does the "nice guy" find irresistible and why?

hi, i'm mary! — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 20:01:06 GMT

Is it her laugh?
Her sparkling wit?
Her intelligence?
Her ability to touch you the right way?
Is it in her talent of fellatio?
Her body?

Be as graphic and detailed as necessary, boys! ;)

Have fun with it!

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 10 replies

Fellow nice guys, lets do a psychological test

Bo — Thu, 02 Mar 2006 02:40:41 GMT

OK. It will be interesting to see what answers you come up with.

For people who know this psychological test, please don’t spoil everyone else’s exploration by revealing the mechanics of the test.

OK, imagine there’s a desert. In the desert you see a cube.

How big is the cube?

What color is the cube?

What kind of material is the cube made of?

Mine, 2"x2"x2" white hard non translucent plastic cube.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 15 replies

First rule of a nice guy is

The_L_To_The_T — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 07:18:57 GMT

he treats a woman the way he would want to be treated.

2nd rule?

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 0 replies

You know what would be nice

The_L_To_The_T — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 14:38:55 GMT

It sure would be nice if

women came to guys' emotional rescue the way men come to women's

the same care and sympathy shown towards nice girls, was shown to nice guys

women were required to have tons of confidence and approach men as much as men are required to have confidence with women

women were required to be as chivalrous as men

and the #1 thing that would be nice is,

a www.dontdateherdude.com to go along with "www.dontdatehimgirl.com"

*grin*

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 2 replies

What do nice guys become?

duaneborleans — Tue, 03 Jan 2006 19:30:54 GMT

Emotional eunuchs. What do all of you think? Or do they like listening to girls go on and on about boys as if they are the best girl friend? I don't understand why these guys don't correct the situation, it is simple.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 57 replies

The "doormat" nice guy

The_L_To_The_T — Sun, 31 Dec 2006 10:32:57 GMT

Which one is worse... the doormat, or the person who abuses the doormat?

In my opinion, the moment a kind, trusting, non confrontational soul has to callous up and become "tough"... they've lost the fight completely, and the world has become a darker place.

There's a special place in hell for those who abuse those so-called "Doormats".

The same goes for men who abuse nice "doormat" women.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 11 replies

What about no more mister nice guy?

Kelley — Sun, 17 Sep 2006 19:50:14 GMT

Opinion poll:

1) Nice guys finish last? (Yes / No)
2) Nice guys aren't attractive until around 35 years old (Y/N)
3) If you're not a dick, then perhaps you are impotent or bad for the gene pool (Y/N)
4) Nice guys don't have square jaws and other physical attributes that women find attractive (Y/N)
5) Patience and accomodating behavior is seen as weakness and a vulnerability to exploit (Y/N)
6) Nice guys end up in therapy where they are told how desirable they are (Y/N)
7) Nice guys get told by other women and usually the one they are involved with how other women would absolutely fall head-over-heels for such a 'gem' of a guy (Y/N)
---commercial break: a quote from Jimmy in Quadrophenia: Well, find one then! You 'eard me, find one then!
8) Nice guys carry themselves like a target (Y/N)
9) Nice guys are generally not too confident or comfortable thinking of himself as a sexual or romantic figure (Y/N)
10) It doesn't really matter because in the end, you still have to pay taxes and realize you'll have only a $4 social security benefit after retirement. (Y/N)

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 9 replies

The "whiny" self proclaimed nice guy that women hate

The_L_To_The_T — Sat, 04 Aug 2007 08:52:20 GMT

is not as awful as the violent men, the criminals, the cheaters and self destructive druggies that get far more attention from women.

How is it that such gigantic and even dangerous personality flaws are ignored and such relatively petty ones are blown into apocalyptic romantic deal breakers?

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 2 replies

this just played on my pandora

alVacado — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 06:54:13 GMT

and reminded me of this tribe~

An Innocent Man - Billy Joel

Some people stay far away from the door
If there's a chance of it opening up
They hear a voice in the hall outside
And hope that it just passes by

Some people live with the fear of a touch
And the anger of having been a fool
They will not listen to anyone
So nobody tells them a lie

I know you're only protecting yourself
I know you're thinking of somebody else
Someone who hurt you
But I'm not above
Making up for the love
You've been denying you could ever feel
I'm not above doing anything
To restore your faith if I can
Some people see through the eyes of the old
Before they ever get look at the young
I'm only willing to hear you cry
Because I am an innocent man
Oh yes I am

Some people say they will never believe
Another promise they hear in the dark
Because they only remember too well
They heard somebody tell them before
Some people sleep all alone every night
Instead of taking a lover to bed
Some people find that's it's easier to hate
Than to wait anymore
I know you don't want to hear what I say
I know you're gonna keep turning away
But I've been there and if I can survive
I can keep you alive
I'm not above going through it again
I'm not above being cool for a while
If you're cruel to me I'll understand

Some people run from a possible fight
Some people figure they can never win
And although this is a fight I can lose
The accused is an innocent man
Oh yes I am
An innocent man

You know you only hurt yourself out of spite
I guess you'd rather be a martyr tonight
That's your decision
But I'm not below
Anybody I know
If there's a chance of resurrecting a love
I'm not above going back to the start
To find out where the heartache began

Some people hope for a miracle cure
Some people just accept the world as it is
But I'm not willing to lay down and die
Because I am an innocent man

I am an innocent man
Oh yes I am
An innocent man

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 0 replies

An examination of the many slanders against nice guys

The_L_To_The_T — Wed, 26 Jul 2006 05:10:13 GMT

The "mythical" nice guy is not a myth, nor a contradiction in words.

It is, quite bluntly, an epithet. A three word way of saying

"I want an exciting man but when he turns out to be a jerk as well, it's his fault. When I meet a guy who is nice and he turns out to be boring, it's his fault. It's never my fault that I have a poor ability to judge men."

And the term "mythical nice guy" tells quite a tale, for those who have observed the actions of those who most often use those three words.

It is a term born of hypocrisy, arrogant self-righteousness, and denial.

The Hypocrisy comes out when the user of that "mythical nice guy" word is down in the dumps and moping about one's lackluster sex life - which is, mind you, translated as throngs of men doting over said person, none of whom are desirable. They demand to be coddled and showered with sympathy, but when a man comes along who mopes about the same thing? The claws come out, fully sharpened. Men don't have a right to complain at all, much less bitterly, like, say, the almost unviersally adored Maureen Dowd does.

The arrogance and self righteousness is evident in the "it's his fault if I date a jerk." The first time, yeah it's his fault. Jerks are jerks and there's no excuse for being a jerk. But running into another one the second and third time? There's an old saying: "Screw me over once, shame on you; screw me over twice, shame on me." But then a guy who is nice, is considered boring because he doesn't drink or smoke, and doesn't go around pushing around other males to prove his dominance. God forbid he be a geek. Oh yes, men are less mature than women. Perhaps because no one ever even cares to look at the book worm males foregoing the alpha male game in high school and who are studying to later become doctors, scientists, and all the other techno workers that made our society safe and, beyond any debate, our lifespans longer? These boys - the ones most likely to become "mythical nice guys" - who put their studies and their enrichment of society before their social skills, and who have made our world a better place, are "less mature" than the jock-chasing cheerleaders around them? HARDLY! They're far more mature: and they're a) not counted in that "male maturity" thing, and b) they're marked as sexually undesirable UNTIL they make their millions. There's no sympathy for these hard working boys, or the often lonely men they grow up to be - but there's plenty of sympathy for the cheerleader who dates the jock and winds up in a trailer park hiding from creditors while refusing to leave her now violent husband because she loves him dearly.

And from that comes DENIAL. The denial that one's romantic woes are in part one's own fault. Oh, sure, we know and accept universally that a man's woes are all his fault. But then he's also at fault for everyone else's woes. It never occurs to anyone that dating violent and bullying men is in fact perpetuating their existence and is in fact giving a message to all men: that if you push others around and succeed, you get laid. Oh no, that will be considered heresy to say that. Nice, law abiding, considerate men are boring. That is, unless they're wearing Armani suits or military/police/firefighter uniforms. All that freedom of sexual liberation and not even one shred of role flexibility is afforded to men. You're either an alpha male or you're last in line. One would imagine 2006 would be a bit more of an enlightened age, considering all that talk about liberation and the shattering of gender roles in the past.

Let's not forget to add the most hateful slander of all: that "mythical nice guys" are ticking time bombs waiting to become rapists and murderers, and their "nice guy" behavior is just a front for a more undesirable side. Wait a minute. If that's the case, if they're really that undesirable, then why are convicted mass rapist Richie Ramirez and murderer Charles Manson getting so many love letters? These guys, who MURDERED and RAPED many women, get adoring female fans, but a law abiding "mythical nice guy" gets nothing because he possibly MIGHT be a horrible world destroying supervillain? Woah. How does that add up?

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 19 replies

Why most nice guys are dying out.

Carl — Tue, 15 Jun 2004 11:06:09 GMT

Most nice guys have died out because they feel so abused by the women and the climate around them.
Yes, women like nice guys as a shoulder to cry on, about their asshole boyfriends and so forth, but will continue to go out with another asshole, in an ongoing cycle.
Women complain about being used by players, and yet go back for more. Women bitch about their abusive Marine boyfriends, but yet go straight for another brainless dick in a uniform.
After quite a few years of observation, women say that they want a man who loves them, treats them right, treats them like a true woman, etc. But they always go out with the knuckle-dragging neanderthal who treats them like shit.
Nice guys are trapped in the same ongoing cycle, like women are. Nice guys purpetually hear the line "you're cute, but..." and stand by and watch the women, who turn to them, go through more pain, hurt and bruises.
I am one of those mythical nice guys from the UK who always was there for female friends, who had to stand by and see those friends go through hell. I would always offer insight and a neutral opinion. And yes, I always heard that old chestnut when women say "I wish my bf was more like you." Sometimes I hated hearing them say it, as I always knew that if a guy like me asked them out, they'd run for the nearest jerk.

One girl I warned dearly about her obsession on Marines, who continually used her, even several raped her in Marine bar. But still she kept going for the same assholes and going to the same Marine bar where she was attacked.
I warned her that Marines would be the death of her, and sadly it came true. A Marine did kill her.
I had to stand by and watch that girl's ashes being scattered.
I loved that girl dearly, she was the one girl I moved from the UK to the USA to be with. Yet for how strong our friendship she was afraid of taking that small step to the love I offered her.

At that point I decided to no longer get involved, as I got tired of the pain that came with being a "nice guy". I got tired of picking up someone else's pieces, but being cast aside when the next jerk showed up.
Even when I was a nice guy, I was constantly being accused of only trying to get a leg-over, because in Los Angeles, women have no concept that there are nice guys, as they have this inbuilt paranoia that every man is out to fuck them or attack them. Then again Hollywood is a place where everybody uses each other and sex and relationships have long since seperated and that sex is just a hobby for a lot of men, and women.

Yes, I still open doors every now and again. I still say hi, even though most women in LA look down at nice guys as if they were worse than the dirt underneath their shoes.
I just took myself out of the loop of relationships and just concentrate on surviving in this hellhole of a town, ie Hollywood.

To all those women that wonder why nice guys are: We still exist, as there seems to be many that visit this forum. We just keep ourselves a little more guarded. We still will open doors and offer nice complimentary words, just as long be nice back to us, in return.
I can say, hand on heart, I am happy for a woman to accept me as I am, with all my merits and flaws. I may be a bit of a geek, I may wear glasses, I may have long hair. But I care about those around me, who I call friends, and I still give help to those who need it.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 60 replies

Bitterness...

timbo — Sun, 27 Aug 2006 20:41:05 GMT

...is not a mood enhancer...for most human beings.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 23 replies

Sorry, Simon...

guesswho — Tue, 02 Jan 2007 22:39:30 GMT

I think just about everything that can be said about "nice guys" has already been said in this tribe... everything that's been discussed lately has already been so multiple times in the last couple of years, and the only remotely new territory is being introduced by a troll with the sole purpose of getting everyone riled up with his bizarre and unfounded accusations.

Have fun, guys. I'm off to newer topics. :)

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 2 replies

This tribe has been resurrected

simon_p — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 22:43:42 GMT

That is if you want it to be and contribute which I hope that you will. There will be no more spam, bashing or psycho threads tolerated. Let us get this back to its original intent, is the nice guy defunct & if so why, if not where is he and how can he be spotted.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 37 replies

Self-expressions of honest feelings...

timbo — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 21:41:33 GMT

...sign of a nice guy?

I think not. It depends on what the feelings (and desires behind them?) expressed are, obviously. However, I though I'd start a thread on people expressing good things about any nice guys they know.

I know some pretty good guys. For instance, I have a friend who is married, he has two kids, and about the only thing that might be construed as even a little odd about him is that he goes skiing alot...as volunteer ski-patrol. He is a great guy, nice, and relatively centered, he's met a lot of the goals for his life that he has set for himself and he is, although, tired a lot, a decent human being. He got there through hard work though. It's his second marriage. He didn't sit around and whine to get what he wanted though. He basically went through a lot of therapy, had a whole bunch of different girlfriends after his first wife and he divorced. He worked on it til he got it right for him and with and for his family. He has his flaws, just like the rest of us, but he worked it out somehow. I really like him and am very happy to have him as a friend.

Basically, I look up to this guy as a good example for me and others...if my goals and his were the same. Heck, I actually have another friend like that too--focussed, centered, women are attracted to him...but, he too is now married as well with...two kids. Do you know nice guys and why is it that you admire them? (Oh, thought I should mention that their wives are nice too.)

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 32 replies

Happy Holidays

simon_p — Mon, 25 Dec 2006 15:07:40 GMT

A happy (whatever you choose to celebrate) to you from your moderator & not so mythical nice guy ;)

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 1 reply

Violence against men

mrcurtain — Fri, 09 Sep 2005 16:12:33 GMT

Ruben:
> Well , it turns out that , my baby girl is tougher than nails , I have seen her kick the shit out of a guy for being disrepectful to an older lady.

Kim:
> "Kicking boys in the nuts since 1980." That's how I used to handle the opposite sex trying to tell me what girls could and couldn't do.

I know that women are oppressed, but does that justify women responding to words with violence?

Let's try swapping roles here:

Girls wouldn't let me play with dolls so I kicked them all in the head. A woman was disrespectful to an older gentleman, so I beat the shit out of her. Hmmm....

I don't think that violence against men is a big problem, but the seeming total acceptance that violence by women against men is okay, does disturb me a bit.

-Adam

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 133 replies

The Nice Guy drinking game

The_L_To_The_T — Sun, 27 Aug 2006 07:22:55 GMT

Standard drink size: one shot glass.

If a nice guy posts about his problems on this tribe: take one drink.

If he is accused within 5 minutes of his post of being a closet jerk: take one drink.

If the accuser had to stop in the middle of said post to write a love letter to Scott Peterson or some other convicted murderer: take one drink.

If the accuser had to stop in the middle of said post to scream at her boyfriend/husband for catching him cyber cheating on her the night before: take one drink.

If the accuser had to stop in the middle of said post because said boyfriend/husband slapped the pigment off her face for back talk: take one drink.

If said accuser declines to call the cops: take half a drink.

If said accuser of aforementioned nice guy goes back and reiterates that said nice guy is a ticking time bomb with personality flaws just waiting to come out: take half a drink.

If said accuser is so challenged to discuss said personaliy flaw and they start assuming and making things up: take half a drink.

If the nice guy protests and is subjected to verbal abuse, name calling, personal attacks and jokes about his manhood: take one little sip.

If, after being subjected to said verbal abuse, name calling, personal attacks and jokes about his manhood, he lashes out: take one drink.

If, after being subjected to said verbal abuse, name calling, personal attacks and jokes about his manhood, he lashes out, and this is used as evidence that he's a worthless jerk: take one sip.

If one or more of his accusers then says he is mentally insane and that he needs therapy: take one sip.

If, after saying he is mentally insane and that he needs therapy, one is observed smoking pot, taking a drink, or popping vicodin for their nightly flight into wonderland? Take a drink.

If there is a woman in the crowd who says she follows the John Wayne school of showing no mercy or compassion for men and women alike: take two drinks.

If you later read that she committed suicide because she couldn't handle life any more and no one knew she was hurting inside: that's definitely three drinks right there.

If someone points out that women have it easier than men when it comes to having emotional baggage: take one drink.

If some woman challenges you to sample life as a woman to know how truly horrible the universe is, but declines the hypothetical opportunity to walk for one day in the shoes of the all powerful male? Dip your tongue in the shot glass. That's not even a sip.

If a woman, or a man who is very popular here, acknowledges that women aren't treated as harshly in the dating scene: clean out the liquor store.

If a woman posts that she 'feels his pain' and shows him the same genuine care, interest and compassion to him that she would expect from men when she is down in the dumps? *** PARTY LIKE THE WORLD IS ABOUT TO END........ BECAUSE IT PROBABLY IS***

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 0 replies

Thank you Miss Phae :)

abeanstalk — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 19:40:37 GMT

Thank you for the comment. I posted Lowell Creme and Kevin Godley lyrics (from the group 10cc) because it was forcing me to, and here is another one I can't get out of my head:

I find myself a child again
Asleep in Baby Lotion
The air was thick
With Scalextric
And the cars were in slow motion
Going up like an air bubble caught in a vein
Going down like a thermos flask thrown from a train
You go ahead, and I'll follow my phobia down
I cried myself to sleep because
They wouldn't leave the light on
I clawed the rails
With broken nails
Now there's nothing left to bite on
Going up like the corners of Dali's moustache
Going down like the United in the Munich air crash
You go ahead and I'll follow my phobia down

Splendour in the grass

Freeze Frame
A splintering of glass
Steam train
Stop you're going too fast
Please Freeze Frame
Please Freeze
I asked my mum about the stains in the kitchen
She said, "Bang you're dead" and truth is stranger than fiction
Truth is stranger than fiction
I find myself designing rooms that
Never let the light in
With no way in and
No way out
And a space to fly my kite in

Going up like a body rejecting a heart
Going down like Neanderthal Man in the chart
You go ahead and I'll follow my phobia down

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 0 replies

does "no" mean "no"?

stevland — Tue, 20 Dec 2005 06:59:51 GMT

if tribe.net says "no" to sexually explicit material, does that *really* mean "no", or do they just need a little encouragement?

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 54 replies

DC Area?

Mike — Fri, 04 Aug 2006 01:58:06 GMT

Anyone from the DC Metro area? I wouldn't mind spending a night out in the city one of these days.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 0 replies

Hurry Guy--"It's all for you!"

timbo — Sat, 15 Jul 2006 19:05:36 GMT

http://thingsobserved.tribe.net/thread/b662b115-205e-49ff-9c67-7e5b8f85ed67?newpostingid=6166cf75-7328-49a2-97bd-011ce4c6d21f#6166cf75-7328-49a2-97bd-011ce4c6d21f

Ughly.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 0 replies

Penance

ESpaghetto — Mon, 12 Jun 2006 21:25:03 GMT

a post of penance for all of my past misbehavior in this tribe. There was something about being a jerk in a nice guy tribe that was just .. well, amusing at the time. However, we all must move on at some point ..

Cheers !

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 2 replies

Blind dating

timbo — Fri, 24 Mar 2006 22:19:23 GMT

Field notes--

Yeah, so how many of you guys out there have met someone you like and their first reaction is to try to fix you up with somebody else? Now, I'm not knocking it, much, mind you. I'm just wondering...what motivates one to go on a blind date with someone who is friends with the person you are really attracted to. Sure, maybe they'll be nice like the person you're attracted to--hopefully, they are! But, um, sometimes it's just a ploy to keep you around as a friend when really, you yourself should move on. Or move forward, be rejected up front, and then move on. Whatever.

But, then there is the problem of the whole social network, the milieu, you find yourself in, right? You start calculating this and that and finally, you say "Okay, I'll give it a shot...for the good of the team" or something. Anyways, it might work out...but, probably not.

So, maybe the best thing to do is simply be done with these situations and say to the person who you are actually attracted to "Hey, I'm not looking for a blind date, I'm looking for eyes wide open dating. Sorry, I know you are trying to be nice, trying to be kind, all that, but I don't have time to waste on this. I've got other people to meet, other people to see, and not a lot of time to have other people see me meet with people I don't know. I mean, they really might be nice--I don't know--but I'm going to go find people for myself, not have them thrown at me. Sorry."

But, if you do go the other route, you know, go out on the blind-date, at least check with the datie to see if they're interested in you by having them actually call you rather than the other way around. Of course, if you are desperate don't wait, call them. But if it doesn't sound right, doesn't feel right, don't agree to do it. No. Do it only if you feel comfortable that it's the right thing AND that you are not doing it because the person you were originally attracted to who is setting you up wants you to. No. You should really want to, not just do it to please someone who is not you.

Oh, and heaven forbid that everyone is so upfront and forward about dating that it's kind of like, or really like "Hey, we're getting together...why don't you come and hang out with us!" And then, suddenly, you find yourself alone with someone you don't know when you didn't want to be alone with someone you don't know because you actually came along to hang out with the person or people you do know and the other person just happened, accidently or on purpose, to be there and that got in the way of you moving forward with asking someone out and getting things settled and/or moving on and/or having a good time. But, you know, that's never, ever happened, before, right? Nope, it's kind of like a crazy avoidance thing or something. Nothing ever happens and you never date and life sucks and blah, blah, blah. But wait! There's something to actually talk about!

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 14 replies

Non-enablers unite!

timbo — Wed, 31 May 2006 01:13:40 GMT

http://www.habitsmart.com/cdpnt.htm

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 0 replies

G.W. 1

ultra_low_frequency — Sat, 18 Feb 2006 21:52:09 GMT

this is the first of a series of short stories i've written...there are 4 in the series...

Gender wars 1

We have come from the future to warn you about the imperialist lesbian kabal.

We arrive, time shifting is necessarily nauseous but that is one of the things one must endure as a son of Adam. The time zone is the 1990's, the planet is earth and we are somewhere in the western united states.

Dog and I phase and instantly we are aware of the stench of femmes. There are many here and we tread carefully until we can ascertain their level of technology. We have seen that by day they treat the men as emotional chattel while by night there are circumcisions, castrations and worse.

Fortunately their level of technology is still in the nuclear stage and we easily bypass the infra red scanners and motion detectors. Dog sharpens his clitorectomy knife in anticipation. That is his personal revenge against the femmes. God knows how many he has strung around his neck and the countless thousands he's eaten. For him this war is personal, you see, he was castrated by his mother. For me this is just another mission.

I am a rebel, a criminal, one of the few to escape Lesbos uncircumcised, uncastrated. Lesbos, where I watched my father and brothers suffer and die at the hands of the femmes. Their endowments horribly mutilated, Lesbos, where an erect penis is a crime punishable by castration, death or
both.

The memories wash over me until I remember the mission. We are seeking Artemis the huntress, one of the sisters of Lilith. She was instrumental in fomenting gender wars on other planets. Using the matrifocal
locator, we find her in the midst of a coven. She in consuming a dish of penile pate' and a neutered male is performing the disgusting act of cunnilingus on her when we surprise them.

While I prefer the silence of a depolarizer, dog has ever been fascinated by the old hand held disrupters. For this occasion he has chosen a Russian ak-47 and heartily goes about dispatching nymphs and maidens, ak-47 in one hand, clitorectomy knife in the other. Artemis is of Lesbos and has a reputation as an amazon but here she is out classed by technology. Her laser bursts fired at my holographic image leave her puzzled. From her
Left I strike a blow to her temple that leaves her unconscious. On orders from the sons of Adam, she is to be impregnated. I would prefer her terminated cleanly and have done with her. But orders are orders.

Binding her to the coven's sacrificial table, I wait for her to regain consciousness. Meanwhile, dog goes about collecting his souvenirs and returns his beard bloody, picking skin from between his teeth. He’s collected about
Thirty clits and several large sets of nipples, he's a barbarian really, but a good man to have at your back should you phase into the midst of a coven of high tech femmes.

Finally Artemis comes around; I’ve waited because I’d like her to experience the impregnation first hand. Placing the scrambler pads over her ovaries, I watch tears come to her eyes with the realization that all of her
Eggs have been destroyed. Using a laser scalpel, I implant the hundred or so genetically altered eggs into her uterus, each egg designed to produce only males. Now comes the part that I find to be the most disgusting thing that the sons of Adam have ever asked a male to do. I must deposit my sperm into her orifice. A look of horror comes to her face as she sees my uncircumcised endowment. She has never been penetrated by a male and try as I might to remain surgically aloof, this is the most disgusting thing that either of us
Could imagine. For her this is rape, the most horrible of crimes to a femme, better death than rape. Our eyes meet as my sperm is deposited into her, and her eyes seem to beg for death. But no, this is a mission and not just another foray on some femme outpost. I withdraw and cleanse myself of her as best I can. Placing the adjuster over her head, I remove all traces of sisterhood from her conscious and unconscious mind, replacing it with a strong maternal drive. She has lapsed into unconsciousness again and I loosen her from the table. Wiping away a tear, I almost want to stay with her and my unborn son. Dog barks a cynical laugh; the old warrior has seen this before. He knows what I’m thinking.

The mission over, we scan the time zone for any other sisters that might be lurking in ambush. We phase and return to the present. The mission is over and there are reports to be made, superiors to answer to and tales to tell.

Copyright 1996 djones

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 0 replies

heya ali...

ultra_low_frequency — Tue, 14 Feb 2006 20:37:51 GMT

guess who's here now...lol...
xo
d
p.s. tell the girls about me will you??...lol...

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 3 replies

When does "no" mean "NO!" ?? me confused ..

ESpaghetto — Fri, 11 Nov 2005 00:09:44 GMT

*haha* psyche !

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 9 replies

wicked desires...

ultra_low_frequency — Wed, 15 Feb 2006 18:02:34 GMT

i am having just now...the most wicked desires to start pushing buttons...like i was a care bear at the helm of the death star...but i'll leave it to your discretion as to whether or not i should start posting the gender nukes..."now you may see the power of this fully operational battle station"...darth vader to luke skywalker...

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 3 replies

Ex-nice guy!?

duaneborleans — Fri, 23 Dec 2005 22:05:25 GMT

I found this on the net, it sounds like an ex-nice guy. What do all of you think?

http://www.stwing.upenn.edu/~jenf/writing/rant04.html

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 10 replies

elliot and the gang really killed this tribe, huh?

stevland — Wed, 25 Jan 2006 10:20:52 GMT

dead in the water. tribe 2006!

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 3 replies

Sunshyne

rorqualmaru — Thu, 02 Feb 2006 21:42:05 GMT

I've just been informed Sunshyne is an alt and not in fact Sunny. Just a heads up for those who'll appreciate it.

http://people.tribe.net/f242d061-2fb8-4b94-9d6a-b715ac54b3b8?_click_path=Application%5Btribe%5D.Person%5Bf242d061-2fb8-4b94-9d6a-b715ac54b3b8%5D

If they behave no worries but only Sunny can raise Sunny's sort of hell if you get my meaning.

:: Roy

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 5 replies

Always There

greglnathan — Mon, 23 Jan 2006 00:01:17 GMT

I know this confusion
as if it were my own,
this searching
from town to town
and time to time,
as if no place
were my own.

And I am often found
when I am most lost.

Remember when I wandered
through cloudless desert
like motherless child
looking for the mirage
that mirrored my dreams
when no thirst could quench
the never-ending drought.

You found me then
and took me in
with heart and soul
when it was everything I needed.

So, when you need me most,
just close your eyes
and go to that special place
that just we two know about...
for I am there.

Always there.

And for you,
it will be
as if I had never left.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 1 reply

Have any ladies in here...

Sat, 07 Jan 2006 23:54:37 GMT

ever been surprised to find out that their new "nice guy" boyfriend really knew how to aggressively get the job done in the sack? I had this topic come up in a conversation and wondered what you guys had to say.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 19 replies

the new Adam

CatNip-Marty — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 23:38:06 GMT

Stevland is, in my opinion, the new Adam. Most probably even the same guy, back after a new profile created.

That's not a bad thing, though....check this out:

There cannot be any beautiful people unless there are some ugly people to compare to. There cannot be any happiness unless there is sadness to contrast it with.

How the hell can the rest of us MNGs ever be considered nice if there weren't a cheese-dick like adam/stevland to shit-stir a little and rile people up.

We need Stevland. Arguably, his posts are usually meant to piss people off. But without his off-nice posts, the rest of us have little to brag about.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 74 replies

If i whine enough

ESpaghetto — Fri, 11 Nov 2005 00:18:53 GMT

Some dame here will feel sorry for me, pm me and date me. She'll even pay since i'm so durn nice.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 19 replies

Hi !!

Thu, 22 Dec 2005 21:58:48 GMT

I am new to this tribe.. just the name alone caught my eye.. and that is a question I ask myself often... "is the nice guy a myth?"

Seasons Greetings!!

Deb

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 52 replies

34 year old virgin coming out!

Zach — Mon, 14 Jun 2004 17:05:19 GMT

I'm still a virgin at age 34 due to a combination of reasons:
1. Anxiety disorder which I'm getting over
2. Shy
3. Aspergers Syndrome
4. High standards in who I'm attracted to
5. Many women I'm attracted to are lesbians
6. If they are not lesbians they have a boyfriend
7. If they don't have a boyfriend they just got out of a relationship
and aren't ready to get into another one
8. They simply aren't attracted to me on a physical level and just
want to be friends

As I get older I get closer to death and the chance of dying before
losing my virginity becomes more likely. I really want to experience
full physical and emotional intimacy. I wonder if I'm just destined
not to like some sort of a monk or priest (well these days even they
seem to be losing it). I don't feel fully human. It seems like for
normal people it just happens almost automatically where with me it
has been a lengthy struggle and I'm not there yet.

I think about sex and relationships often. Everyone I know anywhere
close to my age is no longer a virgin (with one exception, a friend
who gives me hope that one can still be a virgin at age 39 without
going crazy). He suggested to me if I wanted to lose my virginity I
should just go to Nevada where prostitution is legal and hire a
prostitute. I couldn't see myself doing that. I don't just want sex,
I want a deep relationship with love and intimacy. It would be nice if
it were a very long lasting relationship but at this point I'd settle
for something that lasted one month from start to finish as long as I
was able to have my goals met. I feel on a subsoncscious level I might
be saving myself for the right one. As the years have passed by my
standards have gotten lower but are still fairly high. I guess I'm
getting more desperate but still will not hire a prostitute.

I'm also afraid that at this age most women I'd want to go out with
wouldn't want to deal with the fact I'm an inexperienced virgin. It
seems like the man is supposed to be the experienced one. It seems
understandable to make stupid relationship mistakes as a 15 or 16 year
old (the age most of the people my age I've talked to lost their
virginity). However it is a different situation when a 34 year old man
is making the mistakes he should have been making in high school. I
don't even really know where to start with initiating the sexual
experience other than my rather limited experience with kissing and
holding.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 77 replies

Did Everyone depart TMNG for the holiday or something?

Tim — Tue, 29 Nov 2005 01:45:13 GMT

Where is everyone? I'm hearing crickets, guys...

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 42 replies

I just started thinkin'...

PaulaC — Mon, 19 Dec 2005 21:54:46 GMT

...if you're not nice now, start.

There are too few nice people in the world, and we're losing them.

http://bnp.tribe.net/thread/56335669-860f-4499-a643-8a62fcc889d7#79440b6d-3636-43f9-b944-4d677d894d51

For those of you who are tempted to troll, please respect that the person mentioned is loved by quite a few people on Tribe.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 0 replies

Are you a badfish too?

danigrrl — Mon, 05 Sep 2005 18:03:32 GMT

I almost think badfish is right...this does seem to be a sort of a justified trap for so-called nice (ergo wimpy) guys to try out being tough. And then look what happens...girlz don't let it happen. Not one bit. No way, sir no howdy.

I think this place is like a litmus test for if you are nice or mean. Because every guy I met in here that was genuinely nice, has left. Consequently...most of them are in my personal private tribe. Yaay for me!

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 43 replies

The Yes Corollary

Sat, 17 Dec 2005 19:05:53 GMT

I have a 30 something female friend who often laments her lackluster lovelife. I've come to the conclusion, after alot of emotional supporting, that I have to tell her I think her problem is that she is very good at saying "no" but very poor at saying "yes".
And I don't mean the sly, suggestive, manipulative, flirty, winking, come hither "yes" that some women think passes for actual communication. I mean the verbally expressed "yes" I dig you mentally, physically and emotionally come get in my bed and in my life kind of "yes" that most men (cave or otherwise) understand and appreciate.
I don't know how many times I've heard the phrase "it just happened" from certain women who don't like to admit they did everything in there power to manipulate the entire situation into being because they don't like to take responsibility.

Contrary to alot of 1980's Alan Alda pop psychology nonsense, the only thing more powerful than a woman saying no (to promote her self-esteem and boundaries) is a woman saying yes (to communicate her self-esteem and boundaries)

I'm off my soapbox now.
Ooga Bungha!

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 13 replies

New Term Needed

ESpaghetto — Thu, 20 Oct 2005 17:26:36 GMT

OK, so we know there are these "mythical nice guys" who can be passive aggressive and have trouble getting dates - and then there are the "cocky jerks" who are too aggressive and treat women like objects.

What do we call the guys who are not jerks, but who are assertive, sexual beings that enjoy the company and nature of women and do not see them as objects of pleasure and/or emotional dumping grounds ?

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 63 replies

nice guys

stevland — Thu, 13 Oct 2005 08:30:12 GMT

there are currently 494 people in this tribe.

i just clicked on the members link and scrolled through everyone's pictures.

there are so many nice guys in this tribe, it gave me the heebie-jeebies.

*shutters*

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 29 replies

as girls here

Mon, 14 Nov 2005 20:22:47 GMT

I can't remember what brought me here and I can't speak for any other girls, are we "the mythical nice guys"? or is that just really retarded.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 14 replies

Saying good by to all the Mythical Nice Guys and the ladies who can't live without them

Dumb — Fri, 11 Nov 2005 00:15:37 GMT

Guys, I've been so busy trying to loose my dumb blond self that I just don't have much time. I've been traveling about and actually found myself my own nice guy that isn't mythical...

So until next time...

Hopefully you'll all understand the Oxford dictionary when you look up the word "NO".

See you all around... It's been fun...

DB

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 3 replies

Gays and tranny's

Sat, 12 Nov 2005 15:12:11 GMT

Let's talk about our cars and transmissions... :)

There's lots of talk about how the MNG deals with women and their approach to relationships. What about our attitudes towards gays? I'm assuming for the sake of discussion that the MNG's we're talking about are straight, and not gay or bisexual, although I'm sure we're interested in their take on the subject.

I have lived in a place with an active gay population and had to learn to deal with unwanted advances at an early age. I have a number of gay friends. I enjoy sharing with them and it's nice to be able to speak to other men without some of the usual competitive male stuff.

It's also been said that all women want a straight man with the sensibilities of a gay man.

Anyhow, discuss.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 2 replies

eddie-spaghetti

redsonia — Fri, 11 Nov 2005 13:31:20 GMT

musta gotten drunk last night. so he started talkin' to himself on tribe. or maybe he's realized that despite all of our loathing for adam, this place got kinda boring without the constant battle.

i can dig it. we're human beings and we thrive on conflict. and nothing brings people together like a common enemy. so now that adam's gone, we will either wither in our boredom until we find a new asshole to tear apart or we will turn on each other like a pack of hungry wolves.

me likey blood-lust.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 11 replies

ADAM HAS LEFT THE BUILDING

ali-cat — Wed, 09 Nov 2005 18:51:45 GMT

....or rather, went flying out the front door by way of Roy's foot.

l just heard first hand from Roy that he is gone and done.

We have our tribe back, people. Let's make it a fun place to be again. We deserve it.

l've got the champagne. lt's potluck, so bring something good or we'll be forced to whup you.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 58 replies

DANI !!!!!!!

ESpaghetto — Fri, 11 Nov 2005 01:15:03 GMT

How ya doin, babe ? Life is well ? Want some of this salad ?

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 1 reply

Sonia

mrcurtain — Tue, 08 Nov 2005 14:54:15 GMT

> okay, i've been avoiding this thread because it's just a tangent from the whole 'no' nonesense, but thsi comment has been taken somewhat out of context and i want to clarify:

I've been avoiding this topic because people requested it. But if you're going to bring it up.... here we go again.

> ADAM, i think that YOU probably have PARTICULAR difficulty in interpreting body language....

Sonia, you know nothing about me, so stop with these absurd guesses and judgments.

Here was my point. Sometimes someone's body language contradicts with what they're saying. And if the body language is blatant enough, then the body language might give a better guess for what a girl really means.

If a girl shyly says "no" while blinking and looking down then maybe she is just too embarassed to say "yes".

I'm not giving anyone permission to charge forward with a guess - but sometimes when someone says "no", you might have good reason to proceed cautiously forward and at least talk to her about it.

-Adam

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 77 replies

Adam

stevland — Wed, 09 Nov 2005 14:36:16 GMT

what i find really creepy about adam is his main photo 'in the tiger's den'.

he looks like he thinks he's really quite an impressive character, with his hand on the tiger's back. it is as though he is saying to the camera, 'look ladies... i'm a sweet guy: i like animals'.

the fact that all the tigers are tranquilized is weird enough.

couple this with the guy's need to go on and on about his 'no may mean yes' theory ad nauseum; also that he seems to disturb every woman—not that he relishes in it (as i am known to do on occasion, for example), but seems to be involuntarily compelled to continue advancing his unpopular views while never winning the slightest sympathy from even the most thick-skinned of the ladies that frequent this tribe—due to all of these factors, i surmise that...

adam is the type of guy who would consider administering a date-rape drug to a female to assist her in succumbing to his affections.

indeed, maybe already have done so.

as woman are very sensitive to such possibilities, is it any wonder that he has managed to upset so many and for so long while offering so little?!

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 27 replies

Dropping the wall

rorqualmaru — Tue, 01 Nov 2005 11:33:40 GMT

I've just been dumped by email with a blanket request for no contact whatsoever. This is the third time it's happened to me in my life and every time with no warning, no indication of anything amiss.

Fuck if I know if I'm a nice guy but I feel like a damned jerk.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 153 replies

Body Language

mrcurtain — Sat, 29 Oct 2005 09:25:16 GMT

Sonia:
> i think that you may have difficulty interpreting body language.

That's true... but doesn't everyone.

There are a million different girls with a million different personalities. One girl is shy to the point that she'll just glance in your direction when she's very interested. Another girl will throw herself all over you and mean nothing by it; she just flirts with everyone. How am I supposed to clearly understand what body language means when everyone has different body language?

Body language gets much more confusing when you travel as much as a do. Body language is not an international language. Ethiopian girls in Addis Ababa are very different than Canadian girls on vacation in Egypt who are very different than Danish girls out for a night on the town in Copenhagen all of whom are very different than American girls.

Do you think that it is simple and straightforward?

-Adam

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 46 replies

Alright, let's have some laughs...

ali-cat — Thu, 27 Oct 2005 03:54:40 GMT

Some of you have seen this already in a couple of other tribes l frequent, but l figured some cool shit was in order.

While browsing video clips....

www.extremefunnypictures.com/fun....htm

Mondays suck - www.extremefunnypictures.com/fun....htm

OH. MY. GAWD. This one RULES.
www.extremefunnypictures.com/fun....htm

heeheeeheee
www.extremefunnypictures.com/fun....htm

l'd marry this guy in a heartbeat.
www.extremefunnypictures.com/fun....htm

l'd marry this one too. Even if his dick was small, his cojones are ginormous.
www.extremefunnypictures.com/fun....htm

This next guy, however, has balls the size of a small planet.
www.extremefunnypictures.com/fun....htm

Okay, that's enough for now. Enjoy.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 14 replies

common ground

stevland — Thu, 20 Oct 2005 05:44:28 GMT

at last i've figured out a common attribute of nice guy's vs. 'jerks'

do nice guys eat pussy?

of course they do!

do jerks eat pussy?

of course they do!

ahhh, pussy!

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 107 replies

Fuck it

rorqualmaru — Tue, 01 Nov 2005 11:31:13 GMT

The damned thread won't die and it keeps going ad nauseam.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 12 replies

Roy, I BEG of you

danigrrl — Sat, 15 Oct 2005 18:56:52 GMT

Will you PLEASE get rid of that "No" thread!

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 74 replies

kim

redsonia — Wed, 26 Oct 2005 15:58:55 GMT

>Can you really expect much more from someone who thinks no means try a little harder?<

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA. good call.

i thought this was so incredibly priceless that i didn't want it to get lost in the common ground thread. which i didn't finish reading, so there may be some other gems in there that i'm ignoring. but i thought this was worthy of its own thread.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 76 replies

Catfights, sniping galore...

rorqualmaru — Sun, 16 Oct 2005 10:02:34 GMT

Has this tribe devolved into nothing but a place for trolling? I fond;y remember the discussions that occurred here a mere year ago. I've never been a catalyst for discussion, the members provided plenty of that on their own. Now it seems that all that's exchanged is ad hominem piled on top of ad hominem. Maybe all valid and interesting discourse here has been retread and retread over again and this is all that's left.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 49 replies

From your local video whore...

ali-cat — Thu, 27 Oct 2005 14:09:13 GMT

...l couldn't help it.

Take a moment to stop and appreciate how sucky you think your life is. Then watch this.

http://www.extremefunnypictures.com/funnypic776.htm

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 0 replies

Not sure what.....

PaulaC — Mon, 24 Oct 2005 19:59:38 GMT

...to post to start yet another thread but I really don't care to chat on the Steveland 'common ground' thread since my workplace wouldn't take kindly to the language. So I need to stay out of it.

Anyway, how are we all doing? Still believe nice guys do[n't] exist? Well FWIW I do, the fuinny thing is that I now have found a few people who I have tried to invite to this tribe and they have refused because they see so many people determined to make the nice guy a fable. I say that the only way to change that is to get believers in here. Anymore there a few people who have me disheartened when I come here and it bumms me out.

Okay if that has been said too often, we can change the subject to something else. Any [work-safe] suggections?

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 22 replies

Let's chat about dating ..

ESpaghetto — Wed, 19 Oct 2005 18:31:19 GMT

I've sworn off formal dating. I realized that on formal dates, I wind up trading sexual tension for nervous tension. When I'm not under the pressure of a formal date, the evening flows and seduction sizzles. I went out with a woman the other day and it felt like a formal date; it drove me nuts, but I think it reinforced the lesson. I'm going out with another woman this weekend and I'm going to be natural, which is completely seductive, naughty, flirtatious, and playful - y'know, without being a total cad. I mean, forget the café, let's go to the erotic photo exhibit .. ! and, no, we're not calling it a date; we're just "getting together," hanging out" ..

It seems like when we approach a "date" as this sort of interview for a potential relationship, then the "date" becomes awkward just like a job interview. I think when you get together, actively have fun, tease and flirt, then the electricity starts buzzing.

Comments ?

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 41 replies

The Theory of the Mystical Key to Happiness

timbo — Thu, 20 Oct 2005 18:05:52 GMT

What do we call thems that seems to think that there is some mystical, magical catch phrase or action that will make them instantly attractive to the gender(s) they hope will be attracted to them? That think there is some immediate magical power associated with, not the giving of the rose, but the buying of the rose?

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 6 replies

A decided lack of...something

timbo — Mon, 18 Jul 2005 19:37:40 GMT

Yep, I've been victimized by Adam. Its been eating at me for several days/weeks. He hit me with his best shot. Basically he hit me with the theory that because I can imagine something that I must be guilty of somehow wanting that thing to occur.

Now, that is an old rhetorical tactic used in such great purges as Stalinist Russia in the 1930s, Robespierre and the Terror, Salem, the Cultural Revolution and a whole host of human debacles by biased prosecutors. Basically, its the prosecutorial claim that one cannot imagine a crime without somehow being guilty of that crime. No doubt this is Adam's original sin theory. But, you know what? I don't buy this sort of crap any longer.

As an example, under Adam's theory about me, I would be guilty of a crime against humanity for theorizing on some of the bizarre reasoning that goes into the amassing of thousands of nuclear warheads. Now that's probably an extreme example in some folks minds but the gist is the same. And to the point.

If you don't understand what this is in reference to, good. If you do know what this is in reference to, good. If you really, really want to know what this is about then PM me. Otherwise, really, ignorance is bliss.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 45 replies

Be my nice guy?

faerietale — Wed, 12 Oct 2005 17:50:10 GMT

BASICS:
Name:
Age:
Location:
Height:
Hair (color and style):
Eyes:
Piercings/tattoos:

OTHER:
1. Where would we go on dates?
2. Who are three (or more) of your favorite bands/artists?
3. Do you drink/smoke??
4. Do you like the rain?
5. If so...would you play in it with me?
6. Do you like movies?
7. If so would you stay up and watch them with me all night?
8. Could we cuddle and just fall asleep together?
9. Would you kiss my forhead?
10. Do you play an instrument?
11. If so...what?
13. How would you rate your hugs from 1-10?
14. Favorite body part on a boy?
15. What would you say is the best thing about yourself?
16. Do you have any reps (ie: heartbreaker, slut)?
17. Would you give me kisses just because?

What Would You do if...
I said I liked you:
I kissed you:
I was hospitalized:
I ran away from home:
We got in a fight:
I got dumped:
I pissed you off:

What Do You Think Of My...
Personality:
Eyes:
Face:
Hair:
Clothes:
Voice:
Humor:
Choice of music:
Manners:
Friends:
Decisions:

Would You...
Be my friend:
Tell me the truth no matter what:
Buy me a birthday gift:
Lie to make me feel better:
Spread rumors about me:
want me to go out at 4am to get u chocolate:
Keep a secret if I told you one:
Loan me some cash:
Hold my hand:
Keep in touch:
Make me a snack:
Try and solve my problems:
Love me:
Makeout with me:
Hold me in times of need:
Ditch me:
Use me:
ask me out:
Date me:
kiss with me whenever you had the chance?

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 21 replies

What is the 'hand purse" gesture?

mrcurtain — Thu, 20 Oct 2005 17:10:23 GMT

Paula:
> How about we discuss the clutural implications of the 'hand purse' gesture and it's inter and intra cultural variability? It is a part of my field of study.

I'm fascinated. What is the hand-purse gesture? And what does it mean?

-Adam

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 2 replies

Mythical asshole.

geo — Thu, 22 Apr 2004 16:02:06 GMT

So... I'm trying to get this straight, the 'mythical nice guy' is not really a nice guy, right?

Does that mean we should all aspire to being mythical assholes?

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 71 replies

What a Happy Marriage Really Looks Like

ahmedgarcia — Mon, 17 Oct 2005 12:55:16 GMT

What a Happy Marriage Really Looks Like

Yes, you're happily married. It's just that you're not always on the same wavelength. Here's why you absolutely shouldn't sweat it.

By Brian Alexander

I truly believe -- and I know I can get a lot of backing from my fellow husbands on this -- that women worry way too much about The Relationship, worry that even the smallest problem is the first step on the road to divorce court. I would be the last one to deny that there are a certain number of marital stress points. But many of them -- certainly the five detailed below -- are not worth one moment of lost sleep.

Repeating the Same Stupid Argument

What our parents somehow neglect to tell us when they talk about marriage is that it isn't about kids or souls communing. It's about having the same old argument. You know what I'm talking about here. In every marriage there's an argument you two have so often you could tape it, play it next time the issue comes up, and save yourself the energy and aggravation of loud voices and long sulks.

Maybe it's you haranguing him, yet again, about his inability to aim his dirty socks so they come within striking range of the laundry hamper. Or maybe it's him telling you for the thousandth time that the plates really belong on the bottom rack of the dishwasher rather than on the top rack, which -- according to the manual -- should be reserved for glasses and small bowls, thereby maximizing use of interior dishwasher space and thus conserving water and power and several cents' worth of soap. He delivers this little talk while standing with his arms folded, watching professorially -- while you do the hard labor. Remarkably, you do not appreciate this advice. Even more remarkably, you refrain from throwing one of those glasses or small bowls at his very big head.

"I'm the kind of guy who says that everything has a place and it should be in its place," says Dan Higgins, 39, a public relations executive in Orlando, FL. "That way you can find it, right? But my wife's always looking for her stuff, and she'll ask me, 'Have you seen my X, Y or Z?' And, naturally, I have no clue. It drives me up a wall. I'm always bitching at her about putting her stuff where she can find it. And she's always bitching at me about not being helpful.

"She's made comments that she thinks I'm dissatisfied with her in a big, global way," he adds. "But that's not it at all. I'm just dissatisfied with her stuff being disorganized." And he probably always will be. The thing is, no two people, however compatible, however committed to each other, will always mesh like the gears in a fine Swiss watch. The stuff that bugged you early on -- like his refusal to answer the phone until the fifth ring -- is going to keep bugging you. Ditto the things that annoy him. (Yup, his list is probably as long as yours.)

As the years go on and we develop fresh new foibles, we'll come up with fresh new arguments. The latest in our house stems from my tendency to go online every 15 minutes to check the stock market and report the results ("My God! We've just lost $703!"). I think if I do this one more time, she may seriously think of selling -- me.

Periods of Noncommunication

Let me say this about my wife: She rarely has an unexpressed thought. I have learned the hard way that if she suddenly starts making like a sphinx, I'd better do some investigative reporting. I learned this via the following exchange:

She: I can't believe you're going to let me go on and on like this.

Me (baffled): Like what?

She (with a glare that cements my position as World's Most Insensitive Man): Why don't you hold me?

Me (baffled): Do you want me to hold you?

She (glares silently)

Contrast this with my own recent silent funk, a three-week bender of noncommunication, related -- I suppose -- to the fact that I am no longer 25 or even 30. I did not want to be held, I did not want to be analyzed: I wanted my gloom to get lost and knew that discussing things -- despite prodding from my wife -- would lengthen its stay. She, meanwhile, assumed that my silence meant I had begun scanning the personals for ads headed "Former Gymnast Seeks Parallel Bar."

My wife isn't the only one who fears the worst when her husband clams up. Guys I've polled agree that any time they get quiet, whether because of a work crisis, a life crisis or a period of gentle contemplation, their wives assume bags are being packed. "I have to be in public a lot," says Mark Kayser, 35, a marketing executive in Pierre, SD. "And when I get home I am often antisocial. I am just plain talked-out. My wife will say, 'Oh, you are being so uncommunicative.' But it has absolutely nothing to do with my love for her.

"There are those times that I am really worried or stressed out," he acknowledges. "But I don't want to bother or worry her with it."

Obviously, you may have reason to question the state of your marriage if you're married to someone who is never more forthcoming than Harpo Marx or the Statue of Liberty. But the occasional news blackout is no reason for the blues.

Pursuing Different Hobbies

Yes, there was a time when you both loved late-night reruns of The Honeymooners, staying in bed-and-breakfasts when you traveled and eating beef chimichangas from La Posta Number 6 Taco Shop. You thought the same thoughts, inhaled and exhaled in unison, and felt that any time apart was time badly spent. But now it's three, six, nine years into the marriage, and he's going fishing while you play tennis. He's checking out the offerings at The Sharper Image while you cruise Bed, Bath and Beyond. You're watching CNBC while he tunes in to ER.

For a lot of women, this sort of diverging of interests is their cue to take the temperature of the marriage and consider bringing in a specialist. I say, put down the thermometer and take a chill pill. People change, and what's so bad about that? Would you really want to live almost your full adult life with somebody who stayed exactly as he was when you met him? Would he?

Adrian Comstock, 31, an e-commerce entrepreneur in Los Angeles, works long hours during the week and likes to spend some of his downtime playing golf, a pastime he's taken up in recent years. This has been known to tee off his wife. "She likes dance as an athletic activity," he says. "It would be great if she would do that when I go play golf, but she doesn't. She stays home. And then she gives me guilt trips because she sees it as free time I could and should be spending with her." The fact that he plays through the guilt does not mean he is less in love with his wife or less dedicated to his marriage. "I'm crazy about her," says Comstock. It means -- sometimes a cigar is just a cigar -- that he likes to play golf.

It's all a question of degree. If the two of you never spend free time together, well, that's something you might want to think about. It helps to remember that free time is one of the many things in marriage that must be negotiated. If Comstock really wants that round of golf, he might want to consider offering her something in return, like a really nice lunch after the game.

Turning Down Sex

Let's face it: Lust cools. This would not be a problem if our culture did not lead us to believe that clothing is being passionately ripped off in every household but our own, that every other husband and wife on the planet -- and off -- is getting more and better sex than we are.

And, of course, the good news is that lust heats up after it cools. Then it cools again and heats up again and, well, you get my point. "My wife and I discuss our sex life a lot," says Ted Burke, a financial consultant in Los Angeles. "It does die down, but it's never that we don't find each other desirable. There are always other things going on, like the fact that I don't like my work situation or that I'm just in a sort of selfish mode."

After four years of marriage and two kids, Dan Higgins admits that he goes through periods when, frankly, he isn't especially turned on by his wife. "It's about context," he says. "You gotta have the right context." For example, seeing your wife naked in the shower, going about her business, is no big deal. But seeing her naked in high heels with pearls around her neck is like, "Whoa! Let's see if we can talk the baby into taking a nap right now."

Looking at Other Women

Remember what I just said about lust coming and going and coming? Well, the other day, coming out of the grocery store, I saw this blonde. Only the floor kept her legs from going on forever. Not that I really noticed. If I did, it was just for a second -- really, not even a second.

Okay, guilty: guilty as charged. Slap the cuffs on me and, while you're at it, on just about any guy I could name. But we're looking, not touching -- and we have no intention of doing so, whatever our worried wives may think. And while we're on the subject, my wife looks too -- at square-jawed men with dark hair and dark eyes. To a somewhat insecure, shortish, green-eyed, pudgy-cheeked fellow (like me, for instance), that could be a problem.

"I make a conscious effort not to look, because my wife takes it as a sign of interest in other women," says Jim Fitzgibbon, 31, an electronic-components sales manager in Port Washington, NY. "So I'm really working on not doing it, at least when she's around. We've had conversations about it, especially if I have not been appreciating her as much as I usually do. She'll say she doesn't think I love her as much now as I did when we first got married. But believe me, I do."

"My wife and I both check out other people," says Ted Burke. "If we are out walking somewhere and there is some really hot girl with big boobs and a mini, we both look at her, but it's not an issue. I do not ogle and she doesn't ogle. It's more like, 'Oh, look, there's a good-looking girl,' or 'Look, there's a good-looking guy.'"

Adrian Comstock and his wife regard the whole matter as a sort of release valve. "It kind of opens things up," he says. "That way we don't have to feel guilty for appreciating a beautiful person. In fact, it's taught me a few things. She thinks David Duchovny is attractive, and that's given me clues about how she'd like to see me dress."

Or as Mark Kayser puts it, "I'm married. I'm not dead. My wife knows I like to look. I think maybe sometimes she also likes to look. No big deal."

But the fact is, Kayser's marriage is a big deal. Which is why these and other marital flash points are just so many flashes in the pan. "We are both more committed all the time," he says. "And since we've had kids, even more so. We have gone through bad things together. We have brought life into the world. There is so much more important stuff than whether I look at another woman or we argue once in a while or whether she thinks I go hunting too often. We are committed to married life."

I look at my own wife sometimes, very early in the morning, before she's awake, when her face is still scrunched against the pillow, and I think about the (inevitable) friction that comes with two people trying to make their way in the world together. And like Kayser, I'm reminded of just how big marriage is. The truth is, I like that it's big, I like that it's bigger than me. It's given my life a heft it never had with just me in it. I still watch kung-fu movies dubbed in Spanish. I still look, practically by accident, at pretty women. I still spend too much time Net-surfing on the weekends, when she would like us to be doing something together. But these are just satellites of annoyance stuck in orbit around the mass -- not mess -- that is our marriage. For the record, it's a gravity I have no intention of escaping.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 9 replies

My Name is Earl - MNGTV?

Vhilm — Thu, 13 Oct 2005 22:48:28 GMT

I can't believe that I'm plugging the evil boob tube. Or even admitting to watching it;

but:

My Name is Earl.

The MNG TV Show?

Esp. the episode where he faked his death rather than break up with her.

Does anyone else admit to basking in the light of the evil eye of the CRT?

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 15 replies

dani

redsonia — Tue, 04 Oct 2005 18:38:34 GMT

>just NOW you're seeing degenerates? Well sonia and I are safe then.<

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

sorry, kids, i been outa the loop lately, but i thought this deserved some recognition in its own little thread.

seriously, mister moderator has been absent for some time. if he'd'a checked in like a month or two ago, what kind of degenerate catfighting do ya think he'd'a seen?

would he have deleted threads? what kind of guy, even the nicest, most moderator-ey nice guys, would kill a good cat-fight?

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 26 replies

Verbal Sparring/Banter

abbyutiful — Wed, 19 Nov 2003 04:28:32 GMT

(Some random thoughts I've been having while lurking on this tribe for the last week or so.)

The last guy I dated was a "nice guy." He wrote me lovely poetry. He thought I could do no wrong. One thing I really enjoy in any relationship (friend or lover) is the ability to spar verbally. So if I take an impish gentle jab, I'm hoping for the other person to play back. This guy would take my gentle jabs really personally and decide to change himself based on what I had said. Here's an example... I'd say, "Man! That's quite a sweet tooth you have." And he'd respond by saying that I was right, he should really eat less sugar, then would set right to changing his eating habits.

By his always responding in this type of way, I just ended up feeling like a bitch! I told him so. I would say, "NOooo. I don't want you to change your eating habits. I'm just being playful," but the playfulness was lost on him.

He was a really sweet guy, but it just wasn't working. I ended up feeling entirely too dominant and afraid to say anything because I was afraid he would try and change for me again - not something I ever wanted.

While nice guys are great, I also require some real backbone. Otherwise, it won't work. I guess it's the case that a big personality works better with another big personality. I would never want to be in a relationship where I felt I was eclipsing the other person. My three long-term relationships (lasting 4-10 years each) were with definite nice guys, but nice guys with enough confidence to match me in a relationship.

In the future, I will be more careful about involving myself with men who always defer to me. It was a sign I didn't know to look for, but no I know better. When you know better, you do better.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 87 replies

Baiting

rorqualmaru — Tue, 11 Oct 2005 19:15:34 GMT

the mod isn't a way to show you're alpha. It's just a way to get your threads nixed.

Now I don't consider myself nice, just meek most times but I do have claws and teeth.

Just curious, has anyone had any real life "nice guy" encounters lately?

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 8 replies

20 ways to break the ice

ahmedgarcia — Thu, 06 Oct 2005 14:59:25 GMT

http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=4040&TrackingID=516311&BannerID=544657&menuid=6&GT1=7124

20 ways to break the ice
By Kari Molvar

It’s one of the biggest first-date fears: “What if we don’t have anything to talk about?” To help ease any awkward, grasshopper-chirping silences, try one of these conversation-starters, courtesy of an array of experts—including dating coaches, relationship experts, and lots of real-world, smooth-talking single people.

1. “I love your name; what’s the origin? Were you named after anyone in particular?” Just about everyone’s name has a back-story attached to it, says Mia Kirshenbaum, dating coach and author of The Weekend Marriage. You’ll probably get a fun, learn-about-your-date’s-family exchange out of this remark.

2. “Where did you go on your last trip?” Whether it was an exotic safari or just a weekend in Jersey, people love to talk about the places they’ve traveled, suggests Elizabeth Bates of Boston. Plus you’ll find out whether they’re more drawn to cities, beaches, or exotic locations—giving you still more conversational fodder.

3. “If you could do college over, what would you study?” Perhaps they would forget economics and take theater, for example. Definitely gets them talking and reveals their innermost wishes.

4. “What’s your favorite new restaurant?” You’ll have an instant window into your date’s likes and dislikes when it comes to cuisine. And if that topic doesn’t pan out, ask about their favorite dishes to cook at home, advises Stephanie Whitehead of New York.

5. “What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve done in the last month?” If someone can’t remember ever doing anything spontaneous, that tells you something, too.

6. “What trait do friends tease you about?” You’ll learn how your date’s friends see him or her, as well as find out how seriously your date takes himself or herself.

7. “What’s your take on ____ (current event)?” Skimming the Op-Ed section of the newspaper before your date keeps you up-to-date, suggests Steven Kim of Philadelphia. Not that you need to engage in serious CNN-style discussions; instead, keep it light and avoid controversial topics (sex, politics, religion), unless you really want to feel like you’re on Crossfire.

8. “How do you know ____(mutual friend)?” Obviously, this one will only work if you have a friend in common—but if you have that in your corner, work it, suggests Tim Sanders, relationship expert and author of The Likeability Factor. You’ll be able to blab about how you each met the pal, what you think of your buddy’s new job, and so on.

9. “What are you reading right now?” Even if it’s a magazine, everyone does a little browsing. Find out about what’s on their bedside table, says Alyssa Citarella, of Norwalk, CT, and you’ll learn something about their literary tastes and hobbies, which is a springboard to other conversations.

10. “Can you believe this ____(heat/cold spell?) It makes me want to move to ____. How about you?” The weather may be a predictable topic, but the way you pose the question doesn’t have to be so. Chances are your date will reveal whether or not he or she has considered relocating to another clime, offers Mia Kirshenbaum.

11.“Who in your family do you take after the most?” Whether it’s their mother, father, or great-aunt Louisa, you’ll learn something about their personality, as well as how close they are to their clan.

12. “What’s on your iPod these days?” Discover their musical tastes. And if your date doesn’t have an iPod by now? “Well, that’s a whole other topic for discussion,” suggests Theresa O’Rourke of New York City.

13. “You’ve got just 20 bucks to your name. How would you choose to spend it?” While this question may not be as fun to answer as “You’ve won the lottery—what would you buy?” it can provoke an interesting discussion about priorities.

14.“Are you a morning person or a night person?” A random, fun question like this shows you’re not all serious, all the time.

15. “What’s the last good movie you saw?” This can lead into new films you’re interested in seeing together—maybe on your next date, suggests Stephanie Whitehead.

16. “Leno or Letterman—or Jon Stewart?” Most people swear allegiance to one of these nighttime chatters—find out whom your date invites into their bedroom.

17. “Do you collect anything?” This one has a strange way of starting a conversation. Chances are, your date either has a collection to talk about with gusto—or will share a bad collecting experience from childhood that’ll get you both gabbing.

18. “Do you have any secrets? Are you willing to reveal one to me?” Even if the answer is that she (or he) is wearing red underwear, revealing a personal detail creates an immediate level of intimacy between two people—although it’s best to wait until you’ve both had a glass or two of wine, or at least until the dessert arrives, before you deliver this one, advises Tim Sanders.

19. “What’s your dream job?” Then follow up with a short description of your own once and future aspirations, advises Mira Kirshenbaum.

20. “Who do you admire these days?” Lance Armstrong? Neil Armstrong? Either way, the explanation will be very revealing, explains Patricia Madson, author of Improv Wisdom and a professor of drama at Stanford University.

Kari Molvar is a writer in New York City.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 17 replies

Nice Guy on Caffiene

Mon, 03 Oct 2005 18:16:34 GMT

http://rds.yahoo.com/S=96781308/K=most+rejected/v=2/SID=w/l=VDP/SIG=11tj0qtmj/EXP=1128449393/*-http%3A//funnay.net/annat/life_as_a_guy.asf

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 15 replies

shrug, i try to be nice

abrasivefrank — Wed, 28 Sep 2005 08:22:56 GMT

sometimes it just comes out wrong.
im not speaking of anyhting in particular right now...but i do kinda wish i had a nice girl to be nice to.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 44 replies

dictionary definitions

redsonia — Mon, 26 Sep 2005 15:48:57 GMT

of subjective terms are stupid.

quick, someone grab a dictionary and define 'stupid' so you can prove me wrong. then i'll get a definition of 'wrong' and prove you stupid.

i dare you.

posted in The Mythical Nice Guy - 18 replies