Standard drink size: one shot glass.
If a nice guy posts about his problems on this tribe: take one drink.
If he is accused within 5 minutes of his post of being a closet jerk: take one drink.
If the accuser had to stop in the middle of said post to write a love letter to Scott Peterson or some other convicted murderer: take one drink.
If the accuser had to stop in the middle of said post to scream at her boyfriend/husband for catching him cyber cheating on her the night before: take one drink.
If the accuser had to stop in the middle of said post because said boyfriend/husband slapped the pigment off her face for back talk: take one drink.
If said accuser declines to call the cops: take half a drink.
If said accuser of aforementioned nice guy goes back and reiterates that said nice guy is a ticking time bomb with personality flaws just waiting to come out: take half a drink.
If said accuser is so challenged to discuss said personaliy flaw and they start assuming and making things up: take half a drink.
If the nice guy protests and is subjected to verbal abuse, name calling, personal attacks and jokes about his manhood: take one little sip.
If, after being subjected to said verbal abuse, name calling, personal attacks and jokes about his manhood, he lashes out: take one drink.
If, after being subjected to said verbal abuse, name calling, personal attacks and jokes about his manhood, he lashes out, and this is used as evidence that he's a worthless jerk: take one sip.
If one or more of his accusers then says he is mentally insane and that he needs therapy: take one sip.
If, after saying he is mentally insane and that he needs therapy, one is observed smoking pot, taking a drink, or popping vicodin for their nightly flight into wonderland? Take a drink.
If there is a woman in the crowd who says she follows the John Wayne school of showing no mercy or compassion for men and women alike: take two drinks.
If you later read that she committed suicide because she couldn't handle life any more and no one knew she was hurting inside: that's definitely three drinks right there.
If someone points out that women have it easier than men when it comes to having emotional baggage: take one drink.
If some woman challenges you to sample life as a woman to know how truly horrible the universe is, but declines the hypothetical opportunity to walk for one day in the shoes of the all powerful male? Dip your tongue in the shot glass. That's not even a sip.
If a woman, or a man who is very popular here, acknowledges that women aren't treated as harshly in the dating scene: clean out the liquor store.
If a woman posts that she 'feels his pain' and shows him the same genuine care, interest and compassion to him that she would expect from men when she is down in the dumps? *** PARTY LIKE THE WORLD IS ABOUT TO END........ BECAUSE IT PROBABLY IS***
If a nice guy posts about his problems on this tribe: take one drink.
If he is accused within 5 minutes of his post of being a closet jerk: take one drink.
If the accuser had to stop in the middle of said post to write a love letter to Scott Peterson or some other convicted murderer: take one drink.
If the accuser had to stop in the middle of said post to scream at her boyfriend/husband for catching him cyber cheating on her the night before: take one drink.
If the accuser had to stop in the middle of said post because said boyfriend/husband slapped the pigment off her face for back talk: take one drink.
If said accuser declines to call the cops: take half a drink.
If said accuser of aforementioned nice guy goes back and reiterates that said nice guy is a ticking time bomb with personality flaws just waiting to come out: take half a drink.
If said accuser is so challenged to discuss said personaliy flaw and they start assuming and making things up: take half a drink.
If the nice guy protests and is subjected to verbal abuse, name calling, personal attacks and jokes about his manhood: take one little sip.
If, after being subjected to said verbal abuse, name calling, personal attacks and jokes about his manhood, he lashes out: take one drink.
If, after being subjected to said verbal abuse, name calling, personal attacks and jokes about his manhood, he lashes out, and this is used as evidence that he's a worthless jerk: take one sip.
If one or more of his accusers then says he is mentally insane and that he needs therapy: take one sip.
If, after saying he is mentally insane and that he needs therapy, one is observed smoking pot, taking a drink, or popping vicodin for their nightly flight into wonderland? Take a drink.
If there is a woman in the crowd who says she follows the John Wayne school of showing no mercy or compassion for men and women alike: take two drinks.
If you later read that she committed suicide because she couldn't handle life any more and no one knew she was hurting inside: that's definitely three drinks right there.
If someone points out that women have it easier than men when it comes to having emotional baggage: take one drink.
If some woman challenges you to sample life as a woman to know how truly horrible the universe is, but declines the hypothetical opportunity to walk for one day in the shoes of the all powerful male? Dip your tongue in the shot glass. That's not even a sip.
If a woman, or a man who is very popular here, acknowledges that women aren't treated as harshly in the dating scene: clean out the liquor store.
If a woman posts that she 'feels his pain' and shows him the same genuine care, interest and compassion to him that she would expect from men when she is down in the dumps? *** PARTY LIKE THE WORLD IS ABOUT TO END........ BECAUSE IT PROBABLY IS***
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